Ways To Show Your Love to Your Spouse

By Billie •  Updated: 04/06/13 •  5 min read

Appreciating Your Spouse

thank you to my partner

Your partner is the second most important person in your life (after you). But does your partner know, really know, how much you value him/her?

The people who are closest to you are the first ones you take for granted. You take yourself for granted the most often (do you pay yourself first, or last, when you get your paycheque…?), and then you take your loved ones for granted in a narrow race to the “we’re finished” line.

Respect and appreciation exist only through your active expression of how you feel and how you think.

Have you been neglecting yourself lately? Do you repeat the same old actions, habits, day in and day out, never really feeling what you know ’should’ feel good in life?

Do Something Different, Get a Different Result. No Kidding

You can change all that, of course. The worse it is right now, the better it’ll get: just think, they’ll never see this coming!

rick astley thank you partner

You write a simple note of sincere thanks, detailing a few recent and not-so-recent instances where you appreciate who they are and what they do, and they look at you with that blended look of joy and suspicion. What do you want in return? she/he might think. And you know what you want: You want to enjoy what you do, and share good times with the person you love, and express all those good feelings that are in you and that get stronger and pop up more often the more you openly affirm the qualities you admire in yourself and in your partner.

Perhaps you think that your partner has no clue about how to appreciate you. Well, you may be right; in which case, teach them. Show them how you like to be treated, through your example.

Be the Change

Be the person you would love to spend the rest of your life with. That’s the ultimate gift to yourself and to your partner. You want to be with someone who loves you, and who invests the well-spent time and effort into developing their strengths, and who has high standards for how they treat other people (starting with his/her own self). That’s hot! Being your best takes a confident plan of action and the courage to follow it through.

Surprise Them With Spontaneous Connection

Often, the person who is closest to us, we take for granted the easiest. You become ‘One’ but forget to appreciate the other as yourself (or perhaps you forget to appreciate yourself at the same time…).

Regardless, you do not need to wait for a special day or occasion to show your appreciation.

The thoughtful things you do for each other mean more (sometimes suspiciously so, haha) when done at random times and for no apparent reason other than to show your love.

Find out your partner’s love language and then use the appropriate expressions to say ‘I Love You’ in their preferred ways…

Ways to Thank Your Spouse

marrying my best friend thank you

Show and test the connection of your bond, with passive-aggressive humour!

Let’s say you run a web site, and it’s so demanding that you run it at the cost of your marital well-being. Now you can say ‘thank you!’ to your Main Squeeze for her patience by, you guessed it, fiddling with another web site. Make one for her! Special vacations, a shared vision board, whatever floats your boat.

Say “I Appreciate You” in a way they will love.

There are many ways to show love and appreciation for your spouse. Here are a few ideas:

  1. Show appreciation and gratitude: Let your spouse know that you appreciate them and all that they do. Thank them for their support and for being there for you.
  2. Quality time: Spend time together and make an effort to connect with each other. This could be as simple as having a date night or going for a walk together.
  3. Acts of service: Help out with household tasks or errands to show your love and support. This can be a small but meaningful way to show your appreciation.
  4. Physical touch: Physical affection, such as holding hands, cuddling, or hugging, can be a powerful way to show love and connection.
  5. Compliments: Compliment your spouse and let them know what you appreciate about them. This can be a simple but powerful way to show your love and appreciation.
  6. Gifts: Surprise your spouse with a small gift or token of your affection. This could be something thoughtful or something that you know they would appreciate.
  7. Quality communication: Make an effort to listen actively and communicate openly and honestly with your spouse. This can help strengthen your connection and build trust.

By showing love and appreciation in these ways, you can strengthen your bond and build a strong and loving relationship with your spouse.


I like to climb mountains, read Nietzsche, and explore the West Coast. I have a BA from York University (2003) in Toronto, Canada, and yet on this site I sometimes spell like an American (know your audience). Thank you. Thank you very much.