How do you say thank you in a funny way? Take some inspiration from this collection of funny thank you one-liners, puns, and head-scratchers for the next thank you text or card you send to an unsuspecting giver.
Funny & Sarcastic Ways to Say Thank You
- I don’t understand people who say, “I don’t know how to thank you!” Like they’ve never heard of money.
- Thank you for being my unpaid therapist.
- I’m doing the happy dance. Thank you!
- Today I am wearing the smile that you left me with the other day.
- You made me smile from ear to ear.
- Just a generic thank-you card to prove I have excellent manners.
- If I had a cent for every time I appreciate you, I’d be a millionaire.
- Happy birthday! Thank you for continuing the tradition of being older than me.
- Thanks for nothing and everything.
- A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying, “Boy, that was fun!”
- I’ll get you next time.
- Many thanks to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday yesterday! The rest of you are dead to me.
- Don’t think you’re the only one who knows how to give.
- Thank you for still being my friend, despite being aware of every raunchy, unflattering, explicit detail of my life.
- Thanks for not getting me a lump of coal. (Funny ways to say “Thanks for the Happy Birthday Wish”)
- Not sure if I should send a thank-you email, or not bother you with another email.
- I truly appreciate you from from my head to my toes.
- This isn’t a thank-you card, it’s a hug with a fold in it.
- I would floss a tiger’s teeth, that’s how much I appreciate you.
- Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes! If I had a dollar for each, I’d be rich! (Seriously, let’s put that plan in motion for next year)
- I would say you’re the greatest, but you already think I’m the greatest. Thanks!
- Thanks for hiring me. Hope you don’t regret it.
- How about I repay you by inviting you to go do my favorite thing: [insert thing you like to do that and they hate to do]. Just kidding! Thank you!
- I would like to thank my speech writers, copy & paste.
- You are a role model and a friend. I could never fill your shoes, but am continually inspired by your feats [Oooohhh, so witty] and beautiful spirit.
- Grassy ass!
- Thank you berry much!
- Thank you beer-y much!
- I’m not getting you a holiday present because I know you don’t like writing thank-you notes.
- Thanks a bunches of oats!
- Thanks shallot.
- Mom — thank you for teaching me how to use the big potty. That has proven to be a valuable life skill.
- Like cheese, I’m truly grate-ful for all that you do.
- Thanks pho everything. (More food thanks)
- Thanks a hole punch. (More employee appreciation)
- The way I show appreciation is by not saying it at all. Silence!
- Your generosity is only exceeded by your good looks.
- I know you hate saying “you’re welcome,” so I’ll do you the favor and not say thank you, but I am feeling it on the inside.
- Thanks for pretending to be my lesbian lover when gross guys try to chat us up on a night out.
- I have nothing funny to say, but thank you.
- Thanks for putting up with my shit.
- If I knew how to say thank you, I would.
- Grateful AF.
- You’re more thoughtful than my mother.
- If you really want your friends to remember you, give them something cheap. So, thank you!
- Friends like you are not easy to find. (For a friend named Waldo)
- Friendship is like peeing on yourself — everyone else can see it, but only you get to enjoy the warm feelings it brings.
- I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.
- You make me want to say thank you in other languages, and I can barely speak English.
- Thank you for always being older than me.
- You’re the kind of friend I text when I’m pooping.
- If you could read my mind, then you’d know how grateful I am for you at this very moment. Creep.
- “Thanks for the help, I couldn’t have done it without you… or maybe I could have, but it would have taken me twice as long and been half as fun.”
- I’m not sure what I did to deserve your help, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to keep doing it.
- Thanks for the assistance, I think we make a great team. I bring the brains and you bring the good looks.
- Thanks for the lift, I couldn’t have gotten home without you… and trust me, no one else wanted me to try.
- I’m not sure what I would do without you… probably make a lot more mistakes, that’s for sure.
- Thanks for the help, you’re a lifesaver. Or at least a task-saver.
- I don’t know how to thank you enough for your help. I guess I’ll just have to keep thanking you until I get it right.
- Thanks for the assist, I couldn’t have done it without you… or at least not as efficiently.
- I’m not sure what I did to deserve your help, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to keep doing it until I do it again.
- Thanks for the support, you’re a true friend. And also the only person who didn’t laugh when I asked for help.
- I don’t know how to thank you enough for your help, so I’ll just have to keep thanking you until the universe balances itself out.
- Thanks for the help, I couldn’t have done it without you… or at least not without pulling out half my hair.
- I was going to buy you a present, but I figured a ‘thank you’ would suffice.
- I’d like to thank you from the bottom of my sarcastic heart.
- I owe you big time, but unfortunately, I’m broke. So, thank you, and please accept this virtual high-five.
- I’m not saying you’re my favorite person, but if I had to pick a favorite, it would probably be you. Thank you for being awesome.
- I’m grateful for your help, but let’s be honest, you’re just trying to earn some good karma points.”
- “Thanks a latte! Sorry, I couldn’t resist the pun.
- Your kindness knows no bounds. It’s almost like you’re a superhero, but with less spandex and more coffee.
- I’m not sure how to repay you, so how about we just call it even and you owe me one?
- Thank you for being the wind beneath my wings, or at least the fan that keeps me cool on a hot day.
- You’re the cheese to my macaroni, the peanut butter to my jelly, and the reason I’m not losing my mind at work. Thank you!
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BillieI like to climb mountains, read Nietzsche, and explore the West Coast. I have a BA from York University (2003) in Toronto, Canada, and yet on this site I sometimes spell like an American (know your audience). Thank you. Thank you very much.
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